Learn How to Eat a Hot Dog Like a Pro

The Do's and Don'ts of Hot Dog Eating

Maybe you're new to the country, or maybe you just got out of a long affair with vegetarianism. Either way, we can help. Follow these simple guidelines and learn how to eat a hot dog like a pro.

• Don't eat a hot dog on a fancy bun. Where do you think you are, Paris? Okay, if you're in Paris, you get a pass, because at least you're eating a hot dog. For the rest of you, come on.
• Do stick to plain or poppy seed hot dog buns, and please stick to white flour. This isn't a health retreat.
• Don't serve hotdogs on your good plates. This is a non intimidating food product- you do not need to dress it up.
• Do serve hotdogs on paper plates. This is America, people! Why wash it if you can toss it in a landfill?
• Don't pour your toppings on the bun. You'll end up with a soggy mess.
• Do stack your condiments wisely. Begin with placing wet condiments like ketchup and mustard over the hotdog wiener, followed by solid toppings like onions, relish, pickled peppers and sauerkraut. If you're going to top your dog with cheese, make sure it's shredded and sprinkle it on last.
• Don't  bring wine to a hot dog barbecue. Again, this is not France.
• Do drink beer with your hot dog. A hot dog without a beer is like a living room without a television: what's the point? If you're a teetotaler or,  you know, a child or something, the only other option is a full flavored ice cold Coca-cola. Absolutely no diet crap.
• Don't (and this is a big one) use eating utensils when consuming a hotdog.
• Do use your hands. The mess is half the fun! Who cares if you get mustard on your shirt? If you have an answer, you are at the wrong hot dog party and should leave immediately.
• Don't take baby bites. Shove that puppy in your maw like a grownup!
• Do use your leftover bun to mop up the delicious mixture of condiments that's been piling up on your styrofoam plate.Do you have any hot dog eating tips that we haven't covered?